Cultivating an Attitude of Empowerment
It’s been a challenging year. From workforce shifts that led to mass layoffs and worker strikes to world events that caused chaos and terror across the world, so many people I know struggled with what they saw and experienced. I worked with numerous people who were laid off this year and when confronted with this challenge their internal state was revealed. The world events we witnessed were also very triggering to people and a lot of people went into a place of apathy feeling like there was nothing to be done to make a difference. At times like this, it’s easy to fall into a victim mindset of feeling powerless, but in most situations there is a point of power that we can find.
Having spent years of my career as an Agile coach, I have spent a lot of time helping teams and individuals feel empowered in a variety of circumstances. A core tenet of Agile is self-organized, empowered teams so getting people to feel empowered was critical to my role.
What is the key to helping people find their power even in the most difficult of circumstances?
The most important thing is shifting their mindset to believe they have power. This can be very hard in situations where a person or a system is trying to control you but if you can find your power in an oppressive situation, then that skill you have to own your power no matter what will serve you in a way that will help you be successful throughout your life. An important part of owning your power is taking action. It’s in taking action that you can solidify your beliefs around your own power.
Based on my experiences as a coach, here are steps you can take to feel empowered in your life and in your career:
Own your Power
Recognize how you Feel
Figure out what’s out of your Control
Focus on what you can Control
Take Effective Action
Own your Power
This can be a hard step to take when you are in a dire situation where you feel you have tried everything and nothing is changing. Often people refer to this place as rock bottom, but I don’t like to use that term. I will say that it’s the place where you have no other choice but to surrender to what is going on. Sometimes, the only power you have in a situation is the ability to accept it. The unique gift that challenging situations, we have no control over, present to us is the ability to control our thoughts and our attitudes. For me, it's these challenging situations that taught me how to control my thoughts, mind and emotions at a level I was never required to at times when life was easier. Even if our only power is controlling our attitude and our internal narrative in a situation, that is still a place of power.
In most situations, however, we have a lot more power than we think. We have the power to use our voice, the power to help others, the power to take action. We can also choose to exercise self-compassion, treating ourselves with kindness through difficult times.There is so much we can do to affect others and the world.
Recognize how you Feel
Often when people feel disempowered, there is something challenging going on in their outside world. Whatever is going on, it’s important to acknowledge how you feel and what is going on internally for you. If you skip this step, there is dishonesty when they try to change the narrative around your situation and you can’t move forward in the same way as you can when you face your emotions. If you try to avoid or to bottle up these emotions, then not only can you not move on, you can’t harness the power of these emotions to take positive action.
Susan David has great information regarding what she calls Emotional Agility and the importance of this step.
Figure out what’s out of your Control
Having a clear understanding of what is in your control and what is out of your control helps you understand what is going on.
For Agile teams, I would often facilitate sessions where teams would take time brainstorming what was going on and what was within and out of their control. The picture looked like this:
Putting items in the correct section of this diagram helps you clearly define what you can control, what you can only influence and what is completely out of your control.
Doing this exercise is something that anyone can do and can help you define and let go of anything you don’t have control or influence over.
Focus on what you can Control
There is a concept from psychology that refers to each individual’s internal locus of control, which means we all have control over our own behavior. This extends to not only our thoughts but also our actions as well.
Truly powerful people manage themselves so well internally that interacting with the world around them becomes uncomplicated. From the place of managing your own self internally, it’s a lot easier to influence and motivate others, especially as a leader.
Many clients I know use mediation as a way to sort out their inner world and manage the parts of themselves they can control.
Take Effective Action
After following the steps above, deciding an action you will take to own your power and make change is key. This is the most important step because it is how things actually change. It also creates pathways in your body that tell you that you can do something and that you have power. No matter how small the action you take is, take it and you will feel better.
A good example of this is when people see devastating world disasters and the suffering in the aftermath, they fundraise and provide financial support to victims. They might not be able to change what happened but they can certainly participate in helping others as they recover.
No matter what is going on in your life, finding ways to remain in a state of knowing you have power is key to success in life. Actively cultivating their internal state might be one of the key differentiating factors I see between very successful people and everyone else. You can’t achieve something you don’t believe you can.